Keeping the Peace: Six Good Ideas for Dividing Your Loved One’s Possessions

By: Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services
Monday, August 10, 2020

Combining grief, stress, and treasured heirlooms can be a challenge for families. That’s why the loss of a loved one sometimes tests the bonds of even the closest families.

People do unusual things in the throes of grief, and that behavior often worsens when personal property, valuable items, and other cherished possessions must be allocated among heirs. Here are a few smart steps you can take to ensure that divvying up your stuff doesn't ultimately split up your family.

1. Give things away while you are living.

If there are specific articles you want to bequeath, present them to those recipients now. It can be rewarding to see your prized possessions go to people who love and appreciate them.

2. Put it in writing.

A little foresight and planning could spare your family a lot of infighting. Ensure that the items you want to bestow to particular family members end up in their proper places by making a list and referencing it in your will. So that it can be easily updated, this legal document that details your wishes for your tangible personal property can exist separately from the will itself. Don't exclude items of little monetary value from your list. Put some thought into the things that may have particular sentimental value to each of your children. You can even ask them what specific items are the most personally meaningful. Once you have made these assignments on paper, be sure to give the list to your estate planning attorneys to make it legally binding.

3. Get expert appraisals.

Knowing the monetary value of various items in the estate is useful for tax purposes and in determining how they should be distributed so that everyone gets a fair share. This information is also helpful to the personal representative in carrying out his or her responsibilities.

4. Have a drawing.

If a loved one has passed and there are no designated heirs for specific assets, determining who gets what can be a long, drawn-out process. For articles of similar value, why not let fate take its course? Write down each item on a separate slip of paper. Then, toss them in a bowl in groups, categorized by value, and take turns choosing. Be sure to get everyone’s agreement in advance to the terms and outcome of the drawing.

5. Rely on copies.

Precious items like family photos and home movies can be difficult to distribute fairly. Fortunately, digital images and videos can be distributed electronically and printed photos can be copied into high-quality digital or hardcopy images that are virtually indistinguishable from the originals.

6. When all else fails, bring in a mediator.

Where there are conflicts among family members over particular items, mediation can be invaluable. Estate attorneys often act in this capacity but professional mediators also exist. The mediation process can help family members get at the root of the distribution process, establishing consensus and healing old wounds rather than aggravating them.

Important life events have a way of bringing out the best and the worst in everyone. Distributing assets like furniture, jewelry, china, silverware, artwork, and photographs is often the most difficult challenge in settling an estate. Talk to an elder law or estate attorney about how you can avoid family discord over the distribution of your loved one’s personal possessions.

If you have questions or need additional guidance to distribute a loved one’s assets, our compassionate professionals are here with access to helpful tools and resources. Please reach out to our caring team.

About Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services: As a leading African American-owned and operated funeral and cremation organization, Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services has provided a ministry of care to thousands of grieving families. We promise to provide our highest level of distinguished service and respect to families who entrust us to honor their loved ones. In all aspects of the funeral process, we strive to be the absolute best and are honored to help preserve our clients’ legacies for future generations. With two convenient locations serving North and West Philadelphia, it is always our pleasure to be of service. Please visit our website for more information.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Helpful Coping Strategies for Returning to Work After a Loved One Passes

When returning to work after a loved one's passing, expect to encounter a complex blend of emotions. Grief is a deeply personal journey, and it's important to remember that there is no right or wr...

Selecting the Day and Time of the Funeral: Eight Tips You Need to Know

Honoring the memory of a departed loved one begins with the careful selection of the day and time of the funeral. When you’re dealing with crushing grief, planning a funeral or memorial service ca...

Little-Known Signs of Dehydration: Eight Surprising Clues You Need More Water

Beyond the familiar signs of dehydration, there's a world of lesser-known indicators. As we grow older, our bodies become more vulnerable to certain challenges, especially during hot weather. One ...

What are the Benefits of Planning Your Own Funeral?

Planning your funeral helps alleviate the emotional burden on surviving loved ones during a challenging time. Contemplating your farewell might seem like a distant and sobering thought. However, a...

Eight Guidelines that Will Help You Make the Best Funeral Decisions for Your Departed Loved One

The path to healing begins with sound funeral decisions, which allow you to express your love and respect while commemorating the unique journey of your departed loved one. Honoring the legacy of ...

The Signs of Dementia Go Beyond Memory Loss. These Six Symptoms Might Surprise You.

Although it affects millions of people worldwide, the signs of dementia are often undetected or misunderstood. While most people associate dementia with memory loss, there are a number of lesser-k...

What to Bring to a Funeral or Celebration of Life: Six Tips from the Experts

Have you ever wondered what items are appropriate to bring to a funeral or celebration of life? When you attend a funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life, it provides an opportunity to e...

Seven Essential Funeral Tips for Parents to Ease Your Child's Journey Through Loss

Losing a loved one is a deeply emotional experience for adults and children alike. These funeral tips for parents can ease the grief journey. At Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services, we understand ...

Understanding Veteran Funeral Services and Benefits: Six Facts You Should Know

If you are seeking to gain an understanding of veteran funeral services and the benefits available, we’re here to help. Members of the armed forces make great sacrifices to protect the freedoms we...

Food Poisoning Spikes in the Summer. Avoid These Eight Surprising Culprits.

Bacteria multiply more quickly when it’s warmer, causing the incidence of food poisoning to rise dramatically. Soaring temperatures and perishable food aren’t a good combination but you’ll find pl...