Understanding the Fog of Grief: No, You Aren’t Losing Your Mind

By: Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services
Thursday, January 16, 2020

Experiencing brain fog after the death of a loved one? You’re not alone. A significant loss or death can trigger a host of reactions in your body and mind.

While you may know to expect the five stages or grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), experiencing memory loss or the inability to concentrate can catch you off guard. You may begin to frequently lose your car keys, not pay your bills on time, or forget why you walked into a room. Brain fog encompasses issues with your memory, ability to pay attention and focus, speed of thought, and decision-making capabilities. Even though this mental haze is usually mild and doesn’t necessarily last for long periods of time, it can have an impact on your job performance, parenting, and relationships. Please know that you are not alone in experiencing this loss of mental acuity and that your lapses are very much a natural by-product of grieving.

 

 

 

Do you feel as if you are ‘walking through molasses’? 

Experiencing grief is individual to each person, but it creates similar chemical reactions within each of us. A death is a trauma and your body and brain recognize it as such. Stress hormones get released and put your body in an elevated state of ‘flight or fight’ to help protect you. Your body doesn’t differentiate one type of stress from the other. Get too much of the stress hormone for a prolonged period of time, and the hormonal balance in your body gets out of whack. Soon, the reactions responsible for regulating your sleep, immune system, and mood from day to day are also out of balance. In short, your body and mind are overwhelmed by these stress-based reactions. This is when brain fog steps in.

Sometimes the death of a loved one is too devastating to face. 

While you may think of brain fog as a major inconvenience, it’s actually your body’s way of protecting you from your pain and making it easier to bear. Feeling foggy can help you to temporarily disconnect from a much too painful reality. You may not even notice the fog until after you have returned to work or previous responsibilities. It may not be until you leave your keys in the freezer making you late to pick up the kids or forget mid-sentence what you were saying to a room full of stakeholders, that you realize there’s a problem. In other cases, you notice every mistake that you make and become frustrated, embarrassed, and/or sad. You may start to internalize your errors. Try to remember that it is not a character flaw and that grief and brain fog often go hand-in-hand. If you are worried that your lapses are more serious or are becoming dangerous (i.e. you frequently forget to turn off the toaster oven or iron before you leave the house), it may be time to seek emotional support or see your medical doctor.


It can be hard to recognize the fog of grief and seek help for it.

However, doing so may help shorten your fog’s duration. Talking to others who know what you are going through can be helpful. Look for grief support groups that are offered in your area. If sharing your feelings with a group is too much for you, try one-on-one support. Look for a licensed therapist who is trained in grief support. Whichever avenue you take, grief counseling can help you to get at the root of your pain and stress, which will address the mental haziness. If you feel unready to discuss it, consider checking out books on the topics of grief, bereavement, and mourning. It may help you to see that you aren’t losing your mind, brain fog is real, and that it does eventually reside.

You may be wondering, “When will my brain fog lift?” 

The answer is, it varies. While it may come and go in 30 days for your neighbor, yours may hang around for long periods of time. The fog of grief is emotional, mental, and physical and can take time to unravel and release. In most cases, your memory loss and inability to concentrate should lift within a few months and aren’t permanent. In some cases, it may take longer. If your brain fog seems to be getting worse or the intensity is fairly consistent, your mental health may be affected but there is treatment. If you are not able to move past your grief after months or years, you may be suffering from complicated grief (CG), or persistent complex bereavement disorder. This type of grief follows a tragic loss and is one marked by the survivor's inability to move past their strong, negative emotions regarding their loss. It can look like depression but requires a different treatment. If you think that you have complicated grief, talk to your doctor. He or she can determine if what you have is CG or depression and help you to find the appropriate treatment (Complicated Grief Therapy (CGT) and/or antidepressants). 

The fog of grief can disrupt your life, but it should ease up over time. 

Know that you are not alone in experiencing memory lapses following the death of a loved one. Your pain and mental blocks will lift and get easier to bear as time goes on.

We hope you find this information useful and that it can help you and your loved ones through your personal grief journey. If you have questions or need additional resources, please reach out to our caring team.

About Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services: As a leading African American-owned and operated funeral and cremation organization serving three states, Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services has provided a ministry of care to thousands of grieving families. We promise to provide our highest level of distinguished service and respect to families who entrust us to honor their loved one. In all aspects of the funeral process, we strive to be the absolute best and are honored to help preserve our clients’ legacies for future generations. With three convenient locations serving both North and West Philadelphia, as well as Trenton and Drexel Hill, it is always our pleasure to be of service. Please visit our website for more information

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

How to Sort Through Your Departed Loved One’s Belongings and Keep their Memory Alive

Going through a loved one’s belongings after they have passed away is often difficult but you can make the process easier. Just as there is no right way to grieve, there is no specific time that y...

May is Stroke Awareness Month. Knowing The Warning Signs Could Save Your Life.

This year, recognize Stroke Awareness Month by learning more about stroke prevention and detection. When it comes to strokes, every second counts! Nearly two million brain cells die each minute a ...

If You Can’t Sleep, These Seven Surprising Culprits Might Be to Blame

Do you find yourself lying awake in bed or tossing and turning all night? If you can’t sleep, these sneaky slumber thieves could be the cause. Sleep disorders affect an estimated 33% of Americans....

How Much Do You Know About Senior Home Safety?

While familiar surroundings can be comforting as we grow older, home safety measures require extra attention. Changes that come with the aging process like declining vision, hearing, and bone dens...

Honor Your Departed Loved One with These Creative Outdoor Memorial Ideas

Outdoor memorial ideas can range from basic stones to elaborate gardens. Finding a special way to pay tribute to a departed loved one can bring great comfort. Think about the one who passed on and...

It’s Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. Here are Seven Important Things to Know.

Multiple sclerosis (MS) affects nearly 1 million adults in the United States and those numbers are growing. MS is both a complex disease of the central nervous system and an autoimmune condition. ...

Do You Know the Rules for Legally Scattering Ashes?

As more and more people choose cremation, questions about legally scattering ashes are on the rise, too.   Ash scattering has become an increasingly popular way to remember the departed. It p...

Four Important Things to Know About the Tax Issues When Losing a Spouse in Pennsylvania

The tax issues when losing a spouse in Pennsylvania are varied and complex. Losing a spouse or life partner is challenging on many levels. In addition to the deep emotional grief and personal loss...

Hobbies and Five Other Activities That Can Help Create a Healthier Brain

Can a healthier brain be as close as your chessboard? The experts say yes. As we age, the structure of the brain changes, which can adversely affect memory and cognition. It can be challenging to ...

Six Helpful Tips for Discussing Your Funeral Plans with Your Family

The most crucial conversations are often the hardest, and discussing your funeral plans with loved ones is a prime example. Talking about your funeral preferences with a spouse, parent, or child i...